CAGE RAGE!!!!!
Nicolas Cage. The man, the
legend. Well not in so many words!! One of cinema’s true enigmas who will never
stick to being singled out for one type of role but will always either enrage
people or have them roaring with laughter. An Academy Award winner, twice
nominee and a member of the Coppola family, his filmography should be littered
with amazing roles in enthralling films but this has only happened a number of
times. For every Leaving Las Vegas there is a Bangkok Dangerous, for every Con Air
there is a Season of the Witch and for every Raising Arizona there is Deadfall.
Every actor has these blips on their CV but for Cage he does this time and time
again and that, for me, is what makes him one of modern cinemas greats. No
typecasting (well that may be a lie actually, if you are after a shouty, crazy
man and Pacino turns you down there is only one) and always picks a range of
films he is definitely one to watch.
Now my love for Cage started
earlier this year thanks to this infamous video ‘Nicolas Cage Losing His Shit’.
After watching the video on more
than one occasion and after watching a few Cage films one after the other,
myself and a few others decided we would start and work through his whole back
catalogue of films. Me being me I decided I would set a few ground rules.
·
I wouldn’t watch a film by myself. There would
have to be at least one other person watching as this would make it more fun
when he ‘loses his shit’!
·
If I had already seen the film, I would watch it
again.
·
And that is pretty much it.
I then decided after watching a
few that why don’t I start writing about the films I have seen in a kind of
blog format (which I am currently also doing with Empire’s 100 Greatest Movies
list which coincidently has no Cage films in the Top 100 – Raising Arizona is
number 101) so anyone who wants to read it, can. I am also included animated
films as who doesn’t want to see Nicolas Cage voice Jacob Marley from A
Christmas Carol because I certainly do!! I will also rate the film and Cage’s performance.
His performance will be rated not on how good his performance his, but his Cage
Rage Rating, which I think, is an entirely different thing!
So here it goes, my run down of
all Nicolas Cage films and my opinions.
Grindhouse (Segment: Werewolf Women of the SS) (2007)
Director – Rob Zombie
Character – Fu Manchu
Watched 24th February 2012 with Char & Christy
Best Cage Rage Moment – As he only appears for about 5 seconds in the Werewolf Women of the SS fake trailer, it has to be when he is laughing hysterically as only Cage does (00:01:21).
First film I watched was Grindhouse and this was before watching Nicolas Cage Losing His Shit. I know he doesn’t have a major part in either of the two films (Planet Terror or Death Proof) but this is still Cage in a brilliant role. If you’ve not seen the film (watch it by the way), this is Tarantino and Rodriguez’s ode to schlock horror double feature films of the 70’s complete with fake trailers directed by Rob Zombie, Eli Roth, Edgar Wright and Rodriguez himself. Machete went on to become a film in its own right but imagine if Zombie’s did? I don’t think many would be queuing round the block to see a film called Werewolf Women of the SS but if it’s advertised with Nicolas Cage playing Fu Manchu, still not many people would. All he does in this trailer is laugh hysterically with an awesome moustache, and that is about it.
FILM RATING *****
CAGE RAGE RATING ***
Face/Off (1997)
Director – John Woo
Character – Castor Troy
Watched 29th April 2012 with Andy, Bateman & Genna
Best Cage Rage Moment - As Castor Troy at the beginning of the film where he does a litlle dance, sings hallelujah and then touches the behind of a female choir singer (00:05:48).
Best Cage Rage Moment - As Castor Troy at the beginning of the film where he does a litlle dance, sings hallelujah and then touches the behind of a female choir singer (00:05:48).
Two Cages for the price of one in this classic 90’s action film. The last film I watched before deciding to watch every Cage film, this is the quintessential over the top action films that makes no sense from a logical point of view. Nicolas Cage starts the film playing super villain Castor Troy who, after shooting Sean Archer’s (John Travolta’s) son in the face, continues to torment him by setting up bombs around the city. Once Troy is in a coma, presumably dead and his brother gets arrested and won’t tell the cops where a bomb is hidden, the only logical thing to do is to take Castor Troy’s face off (see what they did there) so the bomb can be stopped. Obviously this doesn’t happen and Troy wakes up and forces the doctors to take Archer’s face. Hilarity ensues!!
FILM RATING ****
CAGE RAGE RATING ****
Con Air (1997)
Director – Simon West
Character – Cameron Poe
Watched 6th May 2012 with Andy, Bateman, Char, Christy, Genna, Jen & Saskia
Best Cage Rage Moment – ‘Put the bunny back in the box’ (01:01:25).
Now I had seen Nicolas Cage Losing His Shit. Now I had decided I would watch his entire back catalogue. Now I was excited!!!! Onto the second great action film of the 1990’s in Con Air and what a film it is. An all star testosterone fuelled cast including John Malkovich, Ving Rhames, Steve Buscemi, Danny Trejo, John Cusack and Bubba from Forrest Gump, this tells the story of a plane filled up with America’s most dangerous criminals and Nicolas Cage. They are being transported to a maximum-security unit whilst Cameron Poe just wants to go home to see his wife and child and give her a bunny. The plane gets hijacked by the criminals who try to fly away safely into the sunset but with John Cusack’s police man Vince Larkin hot on the heels of the plane with the help of Poe on board. The dramatic climax is a true Team America moment, no matter how much damage is done to whatever city (in this case Las Vegas), as long as you get the bad guy no one will worry about the million dollars worth of damage done or the number of casualties.
FILM RATING ****
CAGE RAGE RATING ***
Drive Angry (2011)
Director – Patrick Lussier
Character – John Milton
Watched 7th May 2012 with Andy, Bateman, Char, Genna, Jen & Saskia
Best Cage Rage Moment - Whilst having sex, Milton is ambushed by about 10 men trying to kill him. All Hell breaks loose but Milton kills them all one by one, whilst still having sex!
(00:30:30).
Best Cage Rage Moment - Whilst having sex, Milton is ambushed by about 10 men trying to kill him. All Hell breaks loose but Milton kills them all one by one, whilst still having sex!
(00:30:30).
I’m starting to think the worse the film is, the better Cage is. Drive Angry is not a great film, it’s not even a good film, but Cage is on top form as only Cage can be. His character, John Milton breaks out of hell to rescue his granddaughter from a satanic cult. Yes you read that right, HE BREAKS OUT OF HELL!! With Amber Heard in tow and being chased by a supernatural operative of Satan called The Accountant (an always impressive William Fichtner) this is just a riotous laugh and one of those films I don’t think I will ever need to watch again. It does make you wonder how some films make it to the big screen and not direct to DVD.
FILM RATING **
CAGE RAGE RATING ****
Kick-Ass (2010)
Director – Matthew Vaughn
Character – Damon Macready / Big Daddy
Watched 7th May 2012 with Char, Genna and Jen
Best Cage Rage Moment – When, as Big Daddy, he is tied up and shouts out something completely inaudible (01:28:32).
Kick-Ass is one of those films that will probably still be talked about in years to come and has the potential to become a real cult classic. Hopefully the sequel, which is due out in the summer of 2013, will live up to the original. Nicolas Cage’s character, Damon Macready, is an ex policeman who is spending his life trying to get his own back on gangster Frank D’Amico (a sinister as ever Mark Strong) with the help of his daughter Mindy. The two Macready’s by night are vigilante fighters known as Big Daddy and Hit Girl and take it upon themselves to work with high school geek Dave Lizewski who goes by the superhero guise of Kick-Ass. This film caused a lot of controversy because 11-year-old Chloe Moretz said the line ‘Okay you cunts, let’s see what you can do now.’ Although people seemed to completely ignore the fact she was killing and mutilating a number of full-grown men!! Cage doesn’t lose his shit that much in this film; although you could say training an 11-year-old girl to become a super assassin may actually be what he does in real life.
FILM RATING *****
CAGE RAGE RATING ***
Deadfall (1993)
Director – Christopher Coppola
Character – Eddie
Watched 13th May 2012 with Andy, Char, Filipe, Genna, Jen, Jenny & Si
Best Cage Rage Moment –Wow. Where do I start?? Everytime he is on screen!!! When he sniffs poppers, has a fight in a bar or his card trick. But I am going to have to go for the ‘Am I a fucking retard man?’ scene (00:52:11).
What the fuck!!!!!! Deadfall currently holds a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and it is not hard to see why. Directed by Nicolas Cage’s brother Christopher Coppola, it is a story of mistrust and I don’t really know what the fuck else. Eddie, played by Cage, is a criminal who is so unhinged and so fucked up there is no way you can describe the performance. His voice, his hair and his general persona are so over the top this has to be regarded as one of Cage’s best performances not to be taken seriously. A must see just for Cage, but prepare to be dumbfounded.
FILM RATING *
CAGE RAGE RATING *****
Zandalee (1990)
Director – Sam Pillsbury
Character – Johnny Collins
Watched 20th May 2012 with Andy, Char, Filipe, Genna & Jen
Best Cage Rage Moment - I thought it would be the scene where he pours black paint over himself as seen at the end of 'Nicolas Cage Losing His Shit' but oh no!! It has to be his entrance, one of the best entrances of all time!! (00:07:51).
Best Cage Rage Moment - I thought it would be the scene where he pours black paint over himself as seen at the end of 'Nicolas Cage Losing His Shit' but oh no!! It has to be his entrance, one of the best entrances of all time!! (00:07:51).
Zandalee tells the story of a couple, Thierry (Judge Reinhold) and the title character Zandalee (Erika Anderson) who are having a few marital problems because she is no longer is attracted to him. Enter Johnny (Nicolas Cage) and we have ourselves an extra marital affair. With lines as corny as ‘I feel like a paraplegic of the soul’ and ‘I wanna shake you naked and eat you alive’ this is one of the cringeiest but unintentionally hilarious films I have seen for a long time.
FILM RATING **
CAGE RAGE RATING ****
8MM (1999)
Director – Joel Schumacher
Character – Tom Welles
Watched 20th May 2012 with Andy, Char, Filipe & Genna
Best Cage Rage Moment –Not a huge flipping out moment in this as it is actually a decent performance but I’ll have to pick towards the end when he gets his revenge Machine (01:55:23).
This is, considering it’s subject matter, quite a rigid performance from Mr Cage. Cage plays a detective who is hired to investigate the disappearance of a girl after seeing her on an 8 mm film and, after meeting up with Max California (Joaquin Phoenix), delves deeper and deeper into the world of snuff films. Here he meets Tony Soprano and Frank Sobotka from The Wire whilst things get a little bit weird. A decent film, not a classic and easily forgettable with an unmemorable performance from our hero.
FILM RATING ***
CAGE RAGE RATING *
Bringing Out the Dead (1999)
Director – Martin Scorsese
Character – Frank Pierce
Watched 2nd June 2012 with Char, Genna, Jen & Joe
Best Cage Rage Moment - I was expecting a lot of crazy moments from Nic in this one but not so many. I will have to go for the bit where he flips out a tiny bit by trying to kill someone who is in a hospital bed (01:22:15).
Best Cage Rage Moment - I was expecting a lot of crazy moments from Nic in this one but not so many. I will have to go for the bit where he flips out a tiny bit by trying to kill someone who is in a hospital bed (01:22:15).
Bringing Out the Dead is probably Martin Scorsese’s least watched film and is possibly one of his darkest. The film follows Frank Pierce (Nicolas Cage) over 72 hours doing his night shift as an ambulance driver. He is slowly losing the plot and keeps seeing ghosts walking the streets of people he has failed to save whilst working. He also befriends the daughter of a heart attack victim (Patricia Arquette) whilst the streets are starting to be filled with crack users. I probably will need to give this film another go as technically it is pretty good but quite slow in places and Cage doesn’t go as over the top as he should for somebody battling depression.
FILM RATING ***
CAGE RAGE RATING ***
Adaptation. (2002)
Director – Spike Jonze
Character – Charlie Kaufman / Donald Kaufman
Watched 5th June 2012 with Genna
Best Cage Rage Moment – There isn’t one moment of rage throughout this whole film, just an excellent performance.
Adaptation. got Cage his second Oscar nomination and was unlucky to lose out to Adrien Brody in The Pianist (although Daniel Day-Lewis was also nominated for Gangs of New York so he had no chance really). He plays the parts of screenwriter Charlie Kaufman and his (fictional) twin Donald. Charlie is going through depression (because Donald has moved in with him) and writers block whilst trying to adapt The Orchid Thief by Susan Orlean (played by Meryl Streep). This is a truly Kafman-esque film and a great follow up to his acclaimed Being John Malkovich (this film is set whilst Malkovich is being filmed) and Cage once again gives one of those performances, which does show that he is truly a great actor.
FILM RATING ****
CAGE RAGE RATING *
The Wicker Man (2006)
Director – Neil LaBute
Character – Edward Malus
Watched 16th June 2012 with Char, Genna, Jenny & Mum
Best Cage Rage Moment – Too close to call between ‘NOT THE BEES’, punching a woman in the face and dressed in a bear suit. Has to ‘bee’ the bee sequence though (01:32:02).
And now onto the awful, awful remake of one of the greatest horror films ever made, The Wicker Man. This is truly appalling but I think holds one of the funniest cage moments ever, what other film would have it’s star put on a bear costume and punch a woman in the face. If anybody ever sits down to watch this film just watch the sequences mentioned above. Fucking abysmal!
FILM RATING *
CAGE RAGE RATING *****
Raising Arizona
Director – Joel & Ethan Coen
Character – Hi McDunnough
Watched 4th August 2012 with Andy, Char and Genna
Best Cage Rage Moment – When he breaks into the Arizona
Raising Arizona is the film that put Nicolas Cage and the Coen Brothers on the map. It is a classic (possibly one of the best by the Coens, although I think some Big Lebowski fans will disagree) and as mentioned at the start of this narrowly missed out on the Top 100 of Empire’s 500 Greatest Movies of all time list. Cage is on anarchic form as Hi McDunnough who ends up marrying Ed (Holly Hunter). When they try for a baby they find out that Ed is infertile and because of Hi’s criminal record they cannot adopt so instead decide to steal one of the Arizona quints to raise as their own. A genius film with one of Nicolas Cage’s best performances, this is regarded as a classic and will be for years to come and truly shows Cage at his wacky best.
FILM RATING ****
CAGE RAGE RATING ***
City of Angels (1998)
Director – Brad Silberling
Character – Seth
Watched 28th August 2012 with Char, Christy and Genna
Best Cage Rage Moment - The moment Seth realises he is no longer an angel and goes on a crazy walk (01:19:46).
Best Cage Rage Moment - The moment Seth realises he is no longer an angel and goes on a crazy walk (01:19:46).
I was expecting this to be a boring film, I was right. But what I wasn’t expecting was Cage to go off the fucking chain!! He plays Seth, an angel who is on Earth to help take people to ‘the other side’ but he falls for Maggie (Meg Ryan), a nurse who he then shows he can become visible to. This is just your normal run of the mill romantic film which (and I don’t mean to sound sexist here because my mum loves this film) most women will find enjoyable but I found it pretty boring until one point, the moment Seth takes the ultimate leap of faith to become human. He becomes a teeny bit crazy and begins this laugh out loud walk that completely changes the complexion of the character and is utterly hilarious.
FILM RATING **
CAGE RAGE RATING ****
Gone in Sixty Seconds (2000)
Director – Dominic Sena
Character – Memphis
Watched 28th August 2012 with Char, Christy and Genna
Best Cage Rage Moment – Just before they start the job of stealing the cars, they put on the song Low Rider by War to get them in the mood whilst Memphis
Gone in Sixty Seconds is one of those remakes that fans of the original 1974 movie say should never have been made, but then it wouldn’t have been seen by as many people. Cage plays a car thief called Memphis Raines (which carries on the list of stupid ass names some of his characters have) who, after a botched job by his younger brother, is given the task of stealing 50 cars in 72 hours to save his brothers life. This is a good ensemble cast piece with decent performances from everyone (apart from Vinnie Jones) and Cage again has a pretty well balanced performance. Only really one moment of Cage Rage as already mentioned above. A good fun film to watch which hasn’t aged that badly over the last 12 years.
FILM RATING ***
CAGE RAGE RATING ***
Vampire’s Kiss (1990)
Director – Robert Bierman
Character – Peter Loew
Watched 2nd September 2012 with Andy, Bateman, Char and Genna
Best Cage Rage Moment – Telling, sorry shouting, how to file in the correct order (00:39:40).
I felt raped after watching this film for the first time and pretty sure it won’t be the last. This has to be THE stand out crazy Cage performance and for me, will go down as one of my favourite of all time as I’m not really sure what he is meant to be doing. He ate a live cockroach for Christ’s sake. Peter Loew is a yuppie who, after a night out, supposedly gets bitten by a vampire and spends the rest of the film thinking he is a vampire. Things get weirder and weirder and weirder and you cannot really explain how crazy this gets but if they gave Academy Awards for the most out there, completely nuts performance, this would win hands down.
FILM RATING **
CAGE RAGE RATING *****
Captain Corelli’s Mandolin (2001)
Director – John Madden
Character – Captain Antonio Corelli
Watched 3rd September 2012 with Andy, Char and Genna
Best Cage Rage Moment – The most over elaborate yawn I have ever seen (00:36:18).
Another boring watch but as it’s part of his filmography I had to watch. Now I get the piss taken out of me for being half Italian and having a stupid Italian accent when I say certain words but Cage, who is Italian, has an even worst Italian accent than I do! This is not supposed to be a funny performance but each time he is on screen I cannot help but laugh. The film is set on the Greek island of Cephallonia
FILM RATING **
CAGE RAGE RATING **
Moonstruck (1987)
Director – Norman Jewison
Character – Ronny Cammareri
Watched 9th September 2012 with Genna
Best Cage Rage Moment – After finding out how Ronny lost his hand, as well as his bride (00:28:13).
Moonstruck tells the story of Italian-Americans living in New York and Loretta’s (Cher ) new engagement to Johnny Cammareri (Danny Aiello). Johnny wants to invite his estranged brother Ronny (Cage) to the wedding but they haven’t seen each other for 5 years. When Johnny goes to Sicily to be with his dying mother, he asks Loretta to track down Ronny to invite him to the wedding. Loretta finds Ronny and realises why the pair had fallen out, he had lost his hand due to a baking accident, which he blamed on Johnny causing his fiancée to walk out on him (I HAVE NO HAND, I HAVE NO BRIDE). Loretta and Ronny then fall in love and (insert normal rom-com situation here). Moonstruck was nominated for 6 Oscar’s and won 3, Cage not being nominated himself because his performance his a typical lacklustre one. Apart from the odd moment that leaves you laughing (not with him but at him I must add) this is a normal, run of the mill romance film that mothers will love (especially those with Italian heritage) but not many others.
FILM RATING ***
CAGE RAGE RATING ***
It Could Happen to You (1994)
Director – Andrew Bergman
Character – Charlie Lang
Watched 16th September 2012 with Char and Genna
Best Cage Rage Moment – Charlie going on a roller blade ride through the park (01:00:00).
Another rom-com and one of the cheesiest films I have ever seen. Cage plays Charlie Lang, a cop with a good heart who is married to Muriel (Rosie Perez) who wins $4 million dollars on the lottery. The day before Charlie didn’t have enough money for a tip so tells the waitress Yvonne (Bridget Fonda) that if he wins he will split the money with her. Not really much else to say about this film apart from it has a very slim line Bunk from The Wire and the ever-reliable Stanley Tucci. That is about it. Oh and a really annoying Rosie Perez plus Isaac Hayes narrating. No Cage Rage whatsoever and is a pretty sub standard film. Need to get back on the bat shit crazy Rage films I think!!
FILM RATING **
CAGE RAGE RATING *
Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)
Director – Amy Heckerling
Character – Brad's bud
Watched 6th October 2012 with myself
Best Cage Rage Moment – The fact he is only in this film for about a total of 6 seconds, it has to be when he is working in the burger place (00:30:56).
One of those typical 80's high school films in the mold of Pretty in Pink and The Breakfast Club which stars 2 future Oscar winners (Sean Penn and Forest Whitaker) and also a very small cameo role from another future Best Actor winner in Mr Cage himself. This is his first ever film role and there is nothing really to report. He doesn't have a character name (Brad's bud is what shows on the credits) and he is not Cage yet, he is billed as Nicolas Coppola. Only other thing to say about this but this is the first film of the Cageathon I watched by myself but to be honest, he is credited as Coppola and not Cage and he is hardly in it so I'm not gonna beat myself up about it!!
FILM RATING ***
CAGE RAGE RATING *
Season of the Witch (2011)
Director – Dominic Sena
Character – Behman von Bleibruck
Watched 11th October 2012 with Char
Best Cage Rage Moment – The moment he wants to kill the 'witch' with his crossbow (01:02:33).
Nicolas Cage (with silly hair) and Ron Perlman (possibly the strangest looking man in Hollywood) star in this tale of two knights who leave the crusades for their homeland because they are not happy with the killing of innocent people. They are arrested and put towards a cardinal who tells them they must take a girl who is believed to be a witch and the cause of the plague that is spreading through Europe to a remote monastery where she will be tried. The film then becomes a sort of Happy Shopper version of Lord of the Rings and is very, very boring. Cage's hair is worth watching it though as the group who take the witch/girl across land and forests embark on a predictable adventure as members get slaughtered one by one. Yawn!! Need to pick a good film for the next watch.
FILM RATING **
CAGE RAGE RATING **
Pachinko Japanese commercials (2010 I think)
Director – Unknown
Character – Nicolas Cage
Watched 17th October 2012 with myself and then shared with everyone I knew
Best Cage Rage Moment – The moment it sinks in that they are triplets (00:00:45).
OK I know this isn't actually a film but I couldn't not include it in here. Pachinko is a Japanese pinball type game where you can swap silver balls for prizes apparently, but that doesn't matter. It has Nicolas Cage in 5 awesome commercials!! It is seriously 2 and a half minutes of absolute genius and no other words can describe, just watch the video!! I'm not counting it as a film but so far has the highest rating of any of his films so far!!
FILM RATING
CAGE RAGE RATING *****
The Weather Man (2005)
Director – Gore Verbinski
Character – David Spritz
Watched 21st October 2012 with Andy, Char, Christy and Genna
Best Cage Rage Moment – When he finally loses it for the amount of junk food that has been thrown at him throughout the years (01:10:15).
The Weather Man is one of those films that I had no real intention of watching (like probably over half of Cage's filmography) but one I was pleasantly surprised with, apart from Michael Caine's awful American accent. Cage plays Dave Spritz who, as the title suggests, is a weather man who is going through marital problems (his wife about to be remarried) kid problems (his daughters nickname at school is Camel Toe and his son played by Nicholas Hoult is spending a lot of time with his male counselor) and parent problems (his father has been given only a few months to live). Spritz has a bout of depression and things lead up and lead up to some brilliant Cage Rage moments (it was kind of difficult to pick just one) and is another overall great performance by somebody who, on his day, is one of the best around.
FILM RATING ***
CAGE RAGE RATING ***
Wings of the Apache (1990)
Director – David Green
Character – Jake Preston
Watched 31st October 2012 with Genna and Jen
Best Cage Rage Moment – Jake's dismay when he finds out his love interest Billie is going in the air to fight (00:58:27).
Wings of the Apache (or Fire Birds to give it it's US title) is basically Top Gun with helicopters and Nicolas Cage. Cage plays Jake Preston who is a super awesome helicopter pilot who is employed by the US Government to help dismantle a South American drug cartel. Tommy Lee Jones plays the flight instructor who can see himself in the young upstart and Sean Young plays the love interest. As mentioned before, if you've seen Top Gun, you've seen this. Cage though does have some really funny Rage moments, I thought the winner would be when he is in a simulator and shouting out he is the greatest but the winner has to be his 'frustration' as mentioned in the best moment. Avoid this film if possible!
FILM RATING **
CAGE RAGE RATING ***
National Treasure (2004)
Director – Jon Turteltaub
Character – Benjamin Franklin Gates
Watched 3rd November 2012 with Alison, Char, Christy and Genna
Best Cage Rage Moment – After stealing the Declaration of Independence, he tells Abigail to be quiet (00:52:45).
National Treasure isn't actually that bad a film although it does have most of the attributes of a bad Nic Cage film. These are running and bad hair! Cage plays Benjamin Franklin Gates, a historian who comes from a long line of treasure hunters before him (his father played by Jon Voight and grandfather played by Christopher Plummer). He is determined to find the so called 'National Treasure' which has been apparently hidden by the Founding Fathers and Freemasons. With his sidekick Riley in tow and the FBI's Harvey Kietel and bad guy Sean Bean hot on his heels, this is an Indiana Jones story for the new millennium. Now just to get this straight I am not saying this is as good as Indiana Jones, it's not but to be fair (controversial statement now) the Indiana Jones franchise aren't the best films ever made but that is by the by. I really enjoyed this film, it is the kind of film everyone should watch on a Sunday afternoon and did not feel as long as it's 2 hour and 11 minute running time. As for Mr Cage, there were no Rage moments of note, just a normal substandard performance but surely he saved up his best moments for the sequel. On another note, *SPOILER ALERT* Sean Bean didn't die!!!!!
FILM RATING ****
CAGE RAGE RATING **
National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2007)
Director – Jon Turteltaub
Character – Benjamin Franklin Gates
Watched 3rd November 2012 with Alison, Char, Christy and Genna
Best Cage Rage Moment – When he turns to his father and says, 'Some people have a tendancy to OVERREACT!! If only he had said overact! (00:48:49).
The 3rd November turned into a National Treasureathon! We were only going to watch the one film but couldn't resist and ended up watching both in the franchise back to back. Pretty much the same story line as the first one but replace national treasure for the city of gold plus Helen Mirren. Cage looks a lot more plastic in this one but everything is pretty much the same as before apart from one important factor, Cage flips the fuck out on a number of occasions!!! Now I have chosen his best moment for when he completely against the run of play shouts at Jon Voight for no reason but kudos has to go for the scene in Buckingham Palace where he goes absolutely crazy shouting out random British things including Bangers and Mash, Bubble and Squeek and HAGGIS!! All in all, both films are good, the first better than the second, and who knows if a third or fourth will be made. I'm looking forward to Ghost Riderathon now.
The 3rd November turned into a National Treasureathon! We were only going to watch the one film but couldn't resist and ended up watching both in the franchise back to back. Pretty much the same story line as the first one but replace national treasure for the city of gold plus Helen Mirren. Cage looks a lot more plastic in this one but everything is pretty much the same as before apart from one important factor, Cage flips the fuck out on a number of occasions!!! Now I have chosen his best moment for when he completely against the run of play shouts at Jon Voight for no reason but kudos has to go for the scene in Buckingham Palace where he goes absolutely crazy shouting out random British things including Bangers and Mash, Bubble and Squeek and HAGGIS!! All in all, both films are good, the first better than the second, and who knows if a third or fourth will be made. I'm looking forward to Ghost Riderathon now.
FILM RATING ***
CAGE RAGE RATING ****
G-Force (2009)
Director – Hoyt Yeatman
Character – Speckles
Watched 5th November 2012 with Alison, Andy and Genna
Best Cage Rage Moment – When Speckles (who is a mole) gets put into a cage and screams 'No, not the cage, I don't do cages!! Brilliant meta moment (00:21:40).
Nicolas Cage is a mole!!! That is all!! G-Force was Disney's first ever live action 3D film, disregarding concert films and I actually really enjoyed it. The film revolves around a team of specially trained secret agent animals which consist of 3 guinea pigs, a fly and Cage as a mole called Speckles with the help of the Black Eyed Peas on soundtrack, so much Black Eyed Peas!! After seeing this film (which was produced by Jerry Bruckheimer making this Bruckheimer and Cage's 6th collaboration) I watched an interview with Mr Cage about the film where he admits that his inspiration for the voice of Speckles is the voice he uses himself when he is stressed as he doesn't like cursing. Wow, just wow!!! This is a kids film and the first of a few voice acting roles for Cage that I will see but as mentioned before, it was pretty good. Take it for what it is and just have a fun 90 odd minutes, but only if you can handle that much Black Eyed Peas that is.
Nicolas Cage is a mole!!! That is all!! G-Force was Disney's first ever live action 3D film, disregarding concert films and I actually really enjoyed it. The film revolves around a team of specially trained secret agent animals which consist of 3 guinea pigs, a fly and Cage as a mole called Speckles with the help of the Black Eyed Peas on soundtrack, so much Black Eyed Peas!! After seeing this film (which was produced by Jerry Bruckheimer making this Bruckheimer and Cage's 6th collaboration) I watched an interview with Mr Cage about the film where he admits that his inspiration for the voice of Speckles is the voice he uses himself when he is stressed as he doesn't like cursing. Wow, just wow!!! This is a kids film and the first of a few voice acting roles for Cage that I will see but as mentioned before, it was pretty good. Take it for what it is and just have a fun 90 odd minutes, but only if you can handle that much Black Eyed Peas that is.
FILM RATING ***
CAGE RAGE RATING ***
Christmas Carol: The Movie (2001)
Director – Jimmy T. Murakami
Character – Jacob Marley
Watched 22nd November 2012 with Genna
Best Cage Rage Moment – There isn't one. Let's just say when he arrives on screen (00:19:56).
I really don't have much to say about this film apart from the fact it is God awful. For a film made in 2001 the animation is appalling and it's just another retread over one of the greatest stories ever told that really didn't need another one. The voice cast is awesome, it includes Simon Callow, Kate Winslet, Rhys Ifans and of course Nicolas Cage. It is just a film that had no need to be made. And since when did Jacob Marley have an American accent?? Also on another point, I know I put I watched this with Genna, I didn't really. She spent most of it asleep so I'm starting to think that I may just start watching the rest of these films by myself as if I carry on waiting for people, I will never get through all of his films.
I really don't have much to say about this film apart from the fact it is God awful. For a film made in 2001 the animation is appalling and it's just another retread over one of the greatest stories ever told that really didn't need another one. The voice cast is awesome, it includes Simon Callow, Kate Winslet, Rhys Ifans and of course Nicolas Cage. It is just a film that had no need to be made. And since when did Jacob Marley have an American accent?? Also on another point, I know I put I watched this with Genna, I didn't really. She spent most of it asleep so I'm starting to think that I may just start watching the rest of these films by myself as if I carry on waiting for people, I will never get through all of his films.
FILM RATING *
CAGE RAGE RATING *
Next (2007)
Director – Lee Tamahori
Character – Cris Johnson
Watched 2nd December 2012 with Alison, Andy, Christy and Genna
Best Cage Rage Moment – His he gonna jump, his he? What's he gonna do?? He's gonna jump (00:55:38).
This film is really, really bad. Although it does have some of the main attributes of a Nicolas Cage film (bad hair, running) it is also very shit, which is also an attribute of a Cage film! Our hero plays Cris Johnson, a magician who has the gift of being able to see 2 minutes into his own future until along comes Jessica Biel and something even weirder happens in his life. Also quite weird that he is also old enough to be Jessica Biel's dad!! Julianne Moore plays the FBI agent hot on his tracks so he can save the world of a nuclear bomb but everyone involved just seems to be a bit on auto pilot. Not much else happens apart from some really bad green screen CGI. It does seem very rushed and nobody seems to care that much. I do need to pick a half decent film to watch 'Next'!!
This film is really, really bad. Although it does have some of the main attributes of a Nicolas Cage film (bad hair, running) it is also very shit, which is also an attribute of a Cage film! Our hero plays Cris Johnson, a magician who has the gift of being able to see 2 minutes into his own future until along comes Jessica Biel and something even weirder happens in his life. Also quite weird that he is also old enough to be Jessica Biel's dad!! Julianne Moore plays the FBI agent hot on his tracks so he can save the world of a nuclear bomb but everyone involved just seems to be a bit on auto pilot. Not much else happens apart from some really bad green screen CGI. It does seem very rushed and nobody seems to care that much. I do need to pick a half decent film to watch 'Next'!!
FILM RATING **
CAGE RAGE RATING **
Trapped in Paradise (1994)
Director – George Gallo
Character – Bill Firpo
Watched 16th 2012 December with myself
Best Cage Rage Moment – You stand there............with this who me?..........expression.........on your FACE!! (00:17:10).
I picked an even worse film to watch next. Does that last sentence make any sense?? Either way this is really, really bad (I'm starting to sense a pattern here now). As it's December I thought I better watch another Christmas film that Nic has starred after the debacle that was Christmas Carol: The Movie. Now if you make a Christmas film you are pretty much guaranteed that people will watch it every year (see Elf, The Muppet Christmas and It's A Wonderful Life), if it's OK a few people will watch it (see Santa Claus: The Movie and The Santa Clause) and then there are some Christmas films that nobody will watch ever (see Santa with Muscles starring Hulk Hogan). Trapped in Paradise falls in the last category. Come on, who has ever heard of it?? That's right, no one. I don't even think Nicolas Cage can remember it. He stars as Bill Firpo heading on a trip to a small town called Paradise with his brothers Dave and Alvin (played by Jon Lovitz and Garth from Wayne's World) who have both recently been released from prison. Bank robberies, car crashes and no hilarity ensues in the following 90 or so minutes. Please God help me!! Also if anyone has noticed I have also watched this film by myself and not with anybody else so I feel now is the time to stop waiting for people to watch a film with me because I'm not sure how much Cage everyone I know can endure.
I picked an even worse film to watch next. Does that last sentence make any sense?? Either way this is really, really bad (I'm starting to sense a pattern here now). As it's December I thought I better watch another Christmas film that Nic has starred after the debacle that was Christmas Carol: The Movie. Now if you make a Christmas film you are pretty much guaranteed that people will watch it every year (see Elf, The Muppet Christmas and It's A Wonderful Life), if it's OK a few people will watch it (see Santa Claus: The Movie and The Santa Clause) and then there are some Christmas films that nobody will watch ever (see Santa with Muscles starring Hulk Hogan). Trapped in Paradise falls in the last category. Come on, who has ever heard of it?? That's right, no one. I don't even think Nicolas Cage can remember it. He stars as Bill Firpo heading on a trip to a small town called Paradise with his brothers Dave and Alvin (played by Jon Lovitz and Garth from Wayne's World) who have both recently been released from prison. Bank robberies, car crashes and no hilarity ensues in the following 90 or so minutes. Please God help me!! Also if anyone has noticed I have also watched this film by myself and not with anybody else so I feel now is the time to stop waiting for people to watch a film with me because I'm not sure how much Cage everyone I know can endure.
FILM RATING **
CAGE RAGE RATING ***
Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (2010)
Director – Werner Herzog
Character – Terrence McDonagh
Watched 7th January 2013 with Char and Genna
Best Cage Rage Moment – When he tries to kill on old woman by pulling out her breathing tube (01:03:10).
New year so thought I'd start 2013 with a bang with a really good Cage film and that film is Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans and what a film it is. Cage plays Terrence McDonagh, a New Orleans cop who at the beginning of the film, helps a drowning prisoner after Hurricane Katrina and gets promoted to lieutenant. Because of his act of bravery he is constantly plagued with a bad back and from there you realise he is addicted to his painkillers as well as other narcotics, mainly cocaine. He is given a case to deal with where illegal immigrants from Senegal were executed and from here on in he spirals more and more out of control. These include more drug abuse, gambling debts, his prostitute girlfriend (played by Eva Mendes) and singing iguanas. This is one of those films which is truly hard to describe, I mean how many other films are there where you literally see a man's soul break dancing before he dies. In Werner Herzog, Cage has possibly found a director as bat shit crazy as him and I for one hope this doesn't turn out to be their only collaboration.
New year so thought I'd start 2013 with a bang with a really good Cage film and that film is Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans and what a film it is. Cage plays Terrence McDonagh, a New Orleans cop who at the beginning of the film, helps a drowning prisoner after Hurricane Katrina and gets promoted to lieutenant. Because of his act of bravery he is constantly plagued with a bad back and from there you realise he is addicted to his painkillers as well as other narcotics, mainly cocaine. He is given a case to deal with where illegal immigrants from Senegal were executed and from here on in he spirals more and more out of control. These include more drug abuse, gambling debts, his prostitute girlfriend (played by Eva Mendes) and singing iguanas. This is one of those films which is truly hard to describe, I mean how many other films are there where you literally see a man's soul break dancing before he dies. In Werner Herzog, Cage has possibly found a director as bat shit crazy as him and I for one hope this doesn't turn out to be their only collaboration.
FILM RATING ****
CAGE RAGE RATING ****
Bangkok Dangerous (2008)
Directors – Oxide Pang Chun & Pang Fat
Character – Joe
Watched 27th January 2013 with Andy and Christy
Best Cage Rage Moment – I was a little bit upset because although there was bad hair and running, there was no Cage Rage in this at all!
Now I had heard this film was awful and really not worth watching but I was pleasantly surprised. I'm not saying it's Citizen Kane but for what I was expecting I actually quite enjoyed. The synopsis goes like this, Cage plays Joe, a hitman who has to go to Bangkok. And it is dangerous. That is not it really but actually, yeah, that is pretty much it. He has to do 4 last jobs before he quits his job as a hitman, recruits a young thief called Kong and falls in love with a deaf pharmacist (who is probably called Rain) with whom he eats hot food and leafs (that'll make sense if you watch it). Another reason why this probably wasn't as bad as it has been reviewed was because I watched it after seeing Birdemic. Now watching anything after Birdemic does make anything look like Citizen Kane. As mentioned above there wasn't any Cage Rage but I will still give him a 2 star rating for his ninja moves in the swimming pool!
Now I had heard this film was awful and really not worth watching but I was pleasantly surprised. I'm not saying it's Citizen Kane but for what I was expecting I actually quite enjoyed. The synopsis goes like this, Cage plays Joe, a hitman who has to go to Bangkok. And it is dangerous. That is not it really but actually, yeah, that is pretty much it. He has to do 4 last jobs before he quits his job as a hitman, recruits a young thief called Kong and falls in love with a deaf pharmacist (who is probably called Rain) with whom he eats hot food and leafs (that'll make sense if you watch it). Another reason why this probably wasn't as bad as it has been reviewed was because I watched it after seeing Birdemic. Now watching anything after Birdemic does make anything look like Citizen Kane. As mentioned above there wasn't any Cage Rage but I will still give him a 2 star rating for his ninja moves in the swimming pool!
FILM RATING ***
CAGE RAGE RATING **
Stolen (2013)
Director – Simon West
Character – Will Montgomery
Watched 11th May 2013 with Christy
Best Cage Rage Moment – Breaking his thumb to escape from a set of handcuffs before giving out an ass wooping (01:03:05).
I have gone off the boil a little bit, I hadn't watched a Cage for 4 months so what better Cage film to watch then Taken. Sorry Stolen, this hasn't get Liam Neeson in it! Now Stolen does pretty much share a story line with the aforementioned box office smash. Daughter kidnapped with father out to rescue it and kicks a lot of ass along the way. That is about it. I think this could possibly be the worst Nicolas Cage I have ever seen and obviously I've seen a lot!! It reunites Cage with his Con Air director Simon West, it even includes Cage coming out of prison with a cuddly toy for his daughter but there the similarities end. To be fair, Cage does do a hell of a lot of running and he has bad hair so pretty similar to a lot of his other films.
I have gone off the boil a little bit, I hadn't watched a Cage for 4 months so what better Cage film to watch then Taken. Sorry Stolen, this hasn't get Liam Neeson in it! Now Stolen does pretty much share a story line with the aforementioned box office smash. Daughter kidnapped with father out to rescue it and kicks a lot of ass along the way. That is about it. I think this could possibly be the worst Nicolas Cage I have ever seen and obviously I've seen a lot!! It reunites Cage with his Con Air director Simon West, it even includes Cage coming out of prison with a cuddly toy for his daughter but there the similarities end. To be fair, Cage does do a hell of a lot of running and he has bad hair so pretty similar to a lot of his other films.
FILM RATING *
CAGE RAGE RATING ***
Kiss of Death (1995)
Director – Barbet Schroeder
Character – Little Junior Brown
Watched 24th June 2013 by myself
Best Cage Rage Moment – Beating Michael Rapaport to death with House of Pain's Jump Around (00:34:40).
Look how tough he looks with his vest and goatee! My god this film is shit. This is a remake of the 1947 film noir classic but is made to look like a second rate TV movie. The cast is really good, other than Cage you have Helen Hunt, Stanley Tucci and the only man that has done more films than Cage in Samuel L Jackson but they really can't make up for how awful it is. Now, to be honest, I kinda switched off watching this. I#m writing this with about 10 minutes to go till the end. Cage is his usual hammy self in this, a few silly fight scenes and looking like a double hard bastard. There is really nothing else to report on this.
Look how tough he looks with his vest and goatee! My god this film is shit. This is a remake of the 1947 film noir classic but is made to look like a second rate TV movie. The cast is really good, other than Cage you have Helen Hunt, Stanley Tucci and the only man that has done more films than Cage in Samuel L Jackson but they really can't make up for how awful it is. Now, to be honest, I kinda switched off watching this. I#m writing this with about 10 minutes to go till the end. Cage is his usual hammy self in this, a few silly fight scenes and looking like a double hard bastard. There is really nothing else to report on this.
FILM RATING *
CAGE RAGE RATING ***
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